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  • A.B.Campbell 11:23 am on March 26, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: fat, ,   

    Obesity Watch: High-fructose corn syrup makes you fatter 

    PRINCETON – Recently – proving what we’ve all assumed for years – researchers at Princeton University demonstrated that high-fructose corn syrup causes significantly more weight gain than standard sugar sources. Good work, science.

    In addition to causing significant weight gain in lab animals, long-term consumption of high-fructose corn syrup also led to abnormal increases in body fat, especially in the abdomen, and a rise in circulating blood fats called triglycerides. –Science Daily

    According to some however, “Fat” is the new  “N” word so we are not allowed to call people that any more – we should probably come up with another term because we wouldn’t want them to feel badly and be motivated to get healthy.

    Of course, corpulence by any other name will be just a disgusting.High-Fructose Corn Syrup, Obesity, Corn Syrup Sweetness

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  • A.B.Campbell 9:00 am on December 18, 2008 Permalink
    Tags: , fat, Fat fingers, , ,   

    Timmy Geithner, Congressional Pay, and Fat Fingers. 

    AM Digest | The Sagamore Journal

     
  • A.B.Campbell 9:40 pm on September 8, 2008 Permalink
    Tags: fat, , ,   

    Scientists: Exercise makes you less fat 

    At the risk of overshadowing the red hot article on Sarah Palin, The Bruce brings you shocking new research that exercise may make help you lose weight. Thank you Science for reminding us. It seems that millions of Americans couldn’t make the connection.

    That’s right, gone are the days when you could blame your fatness on the so-called obesity gene. By spending only a couple of hours per week at the gym, you’ll be looking young, sleek, and sexy.

    Fat people – Drop the diet coke and work out for a change. Otherwise you’ve got no one to blame but yourself.

     
    • Fryer Tuck 4:53 pm on September 9, 2008 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      As a scientist and a fat man myself I doubt the validity of this study. They may have been able to show a positive correlation between exercising and weight loss in most test subjects, but the fact of the matter is that there are many variables in such an experiment that cannot be controlled that could affect the results. In fact in medicine, unlike other sciences, it is practically impossible to have two identical samples by which to compare and thus analysis of the results must take into account these differences to be truly meaningful. Another problem with medical studies is that the sample size is always small, thus extrapolation to the general populace is always very difficult. So until they can isolate exercise as the lone variable in a study then I will continue to blame my genes and also my jeans (when will they design elastic waistbands for pants?)

    • Don Lando 12:32 am on September 10, 2008 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Is Friar Tuck a marine biologist? Because his science smells FISHY! Seriously though, elastic pants exist for folks who deserve a consolation prize. And they’re all online so you won’t have to walk anywhere.

  • The Sagamore Journal 7:59 pm on May 1, 2008 Permalink
    Tags: april, , , fat, , , , penis, , sagamore journal, , weight   

    The Sagamore Journal: April Review 

    April marked the absence of The Bruce, several meaty pieces by Don Lando and the debut of a new contributor, Fryer Tuck. Here are some of the highs and lows from TSJ April, 2008.

    The Highs

    It is not my fault you are fat. I should not have to pay for your health care.” -The Bruce, commentary on “The pound of flesh which I demand…” by Don Lando

    The Lows

    I’ll see you in the third circle of hell!!!” -Fryer Tuck, commentary on “The pound of flesh which I demand…” by Don Lando

    Editors’ Picks

    The bowl system, with all its tradition must give way to a playoff system that provides both college football fans and participants with a satisfactory ending to the season.” -Fryer Tuck, quote from BCS Bozos Bungle it Again

    The Sagamore Journal thanks Oh my Blog, The Industry Radar, Kickdefella, Technorati, WordPress, and our loyal readers for their support of this publication.

    ~The Editors, TSJ

     
  • Don Lando 5:39 pm on April 7, 2008 Permalink
    Tags: , , fat, The Strenuous Life   

    “The pound of flesh which I demand..” 

    We at the Sagamore Journal occasionally find it prudent to gather up some of the many gems we’ve sown and bring them together with a overarching point, valid or not.
     
    As an example, take three previous subjects at random. Let’s say crude oil prices, fat people and the feckless TSA. Now observe:
     
    Runaway jet fuel prices have prompted airlines to evaluate cost-cutting measures. Alaska Airlines recently discovered it could save $10,000/year on fuel simply by removing five magazines per aircraft. What’s more, the company got itself new beverage carts, which – at 20 lb lighter than the old ones – could save upwards of $500,000/year in fuel costs.

     
    Ho ho, now – are we to understand that by cutting a few pounds here and there, air travel could be cheaper? Do you see where I am going with this?
     
    It’s high time the transport of human flesh was conducted on the same basis as any other cargo. You pay by the pound. If you exceed a certain weight or dimension, perhaps you pay double (i.e.: an extra seat). They do it for our luggage already, yes? That’s because of weight and passenger travel should be the same.

     I see no reason why the dietary habits or genetic makeup of an obese traveller should cause me to pay extra for a less comfortable airplane ride. The trip itself is what our money pays for; arrival is the assumed and hoped for result. Remember that.
     
    My modest proposal offers greater justice than this current notion that everyone should suffer for the gluttony of a few. It’s not true for differently sized cars at the gas pump and it shouldn’t be true for differently sized people in air travel.

     We live not in a socialist commune as the ill-begot TSA would have you believe. This is a cut-throat capitalist machine, for better or worse.
     
    He who chooses to move his 300-pound bulk across the skies should do so at greater personal cost than one who wishes to transport only 150lbs of flesh and bone. That’s economics.

     
    • The Bruce 9:48 pm on April 9, 2008 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I, naturally, agree.

      The accommodations made for fat people are straight out of the socialist handbook.

      The Bruce has been up to his neck The Strenuous Life lately and today, to his horror discovered that the only wheelchairs available at the hospital are “double wides” made especially large for fatties.

      Think of the additional cost to our health care system from over sized wheelchairs alone. And liberals want me to pay for this and other, more serious costs in my taxes! It is not my fault you are fat. I should not have to pay for your health care.

    • fryertuck 6:51 am on April 22, 2008 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      As a morbidly obese individual I stongly oppose this proposed policy as it is an act of discrimination and would provide momentum to the disturbing growth of the cacomorphobia in our society. We are people just like you damnit and we deserve to be treated equally. You are uncomfortable on the plane, huh? Did you ever think of how the American culture constantly promoting skinny bastards makes me feel insecure about myself and drives me to eat even more. You people are as much the problem as we are.

      If anything big bodied people have less money than skinny people. In some cultures corpulence may be a sign of wealth and power, but it is not the case for us big-boned Americans. We spend all of our money buying food to satiate our voracious appetites and then pay for the newest diet fads so that we can try to lose the weight gained by binging. It is a never ending cycle that continously syphons our income down the drain.

      I’ll see you in the third circle of hell!!!

    • Don Lando 6:37 pm on April 22, 2008 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I think fryertuck makes a good point, fat people apparently want to be treated equally. However, I suspect you’ll find yourself hard-pressed to convince physics that different masses should take the same amount of energy to move. Nature, you see, doesn’t espouse bleeding-heart socialism in its principles.

      But fair enough, equality you shall have. You know, of course, this means equal food portions, equal space available for your bulk… if the “big-boned” can abide by this standard of equality then they can enjoy it.

      Otherwise, the second your rolls cross into my seat you are violating my rights to civil equality. Still, I am not unreasonable. I will offer to sell you the space you’re already stealing from me. Pay up.

      see how making choices works?

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