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  • A.B.Campbell 4:24 pm on September 3, 2008 Permalink
    Tags: August, Barack Obama, Elephants, , Math, , Sun, Sunspots,   

    August Review: Elephant math and an inconvienient lack of sunspots 

    As reported by Fox News, Ashiya, an elephant from Ueno Zoo, Tokyo has scored an 87% on a crude math exam involving assorted fruits and buckets. This means that should you score less than eighty seven percent on a math test you are likely dumber than a pachyderm. Could this lead to a new comedy game show hosted by Jeff Foxworthy? Possibly.

    August also saw the absence of sunspot activity (save a minor, disputed flare up which has garnered a half-point), and is something of a capstone to a year that has already seen record low activity. Statistics point to spotless months as a warning sign for global cooling, potentially the beginning of a new ice age. This could have grave effects, similar to those during the infamous Maunder minimum. This is inconvenient timing for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, whose party continues to capitalize on global warming hype.

    The Bruce suggests employing elephants for scientific analysis and climate prediction purposes, they’d stick to numbers, have no political agenda, and keep their big mouths shut.

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    • Don Lando 3:58 am on September 4, 2008 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      not to mention the memory. elephants have terrific memory. but let’s not forget the tusks. danger lies there.

      does the democratic party actually benefit from global warming hype, or are the people who tend to vote democrat simply more likely to get duped into buying it?

  • A.B.Campbell 11:31 pm on August 14, 2008 Permalink
    Tags: Barack Obama, , issues, , liberal media, , , , opinion, , ,   

    Barack Obama, The Liberal Media, and Race in America 

    So here is yet another story on race – in this instance applied to US demographics. This newest installment of the ongoing narrative entitled “White Guilt” or “Race in America” or “Barack the Magic Negro” has got me thinking. The Bruce firmly believes that America is a classless society and that most American citizens believe this as well. Of course, according to our friends in the liberal media we DO, a line which has served Democrats, like Barack Obama well.

    Democrats have been using race and class (i.e. race and class warefare or envy) for years, it’s something of a standard in the Democratic playbook. This strategy has served them moderatly well in that it has won them many a vote, however just as stated above, I refuse to believe that the majority of Americans believe in class or practice racism in any way whatsoever. This is evidenced by a hit and miss record for the Democrats when it comes to winning national elections.

    The 2008 Presidential elections and the advent of Barack Obama have torn this issue wide open for obvious reasons and early on in the primary cycle Obama spoke on race quite often and in The Bruce’s opinion was one of two reasons he clinched the nomination. (The other being his young, hip, eloquent style) This annoys me. Particularly if the trend continues as we near the 2008 presidential elections. Obama’s commentary on race seem to have toned down a bit, perhaps as a result of John McCain calling him to the carpet the last time he brought the subject up – perhaps because his believers in the mainstream media have stopped reporting it – hard to say.

    This is running long so I’m going to get to the point here: Barack Obama is an inexperienced, standard issue, left wing, uber liberal and there is a large fraction of Americans who understand and are adamantly against this – made clear by his inability to pull ahead of John McCain in the polls. And if you remember one thing from this post, remember you heard it here first: If in November, Obama loses to McCain here’s the theme you’re going to see: “Americans aren’t ready to elect a black president.”

    Experience? The issues? I’m sure they have nothing to do with it.

     
    • Fryer Tuck 4:39 am on August 15, 2008 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      “I refuse to believe that the majority of Americans believe in class or practice racism in any way whatsoever”

      You my friend have obviously never seen the musical Avenue Q, which has a song entitled “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist”

      Here is a link:

  • A.B.Campbell 11:02 pm on August 12, 2008 Permalink
    Tags: Barack Obama, emails, , The Messiah,   

    Hillary Clinton bares it all 

    Recently, emails from the Mrs. Bill Clinton campaign were made public, detailing strategies, long term predictions and warnings. So grab some popcorn, snuggle up on with your laptop, and read the gripping narrative that ultimately led to her demise at the hands of The Messiah.

    If by chance you do, please let tell us all about it.

     
    • The Bruce 3:18 pm on August 13, 2008 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Just as I suspected.

      No one cares.

    • Fryer Tuck 6:52 am on August 14, 2008 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      The sad part is that this post may have been slightly better if it had been about nude pics of Hillary. That is just a disturbing thought. I am going to have nightmares for years to come. Now I know why Monica seemed attractive to good ol’ Bill.

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