Eyes in the Back of My Head

The future proto-human will most definitely have 360 multi-ocular vision, as either a genetic adjustment to the fairly standard and less than effective mammalian binocular variety, or perhaps as a cybernetic implant, or some telepathic supervision ala Miss Cleo. One art professor at NYU is actually implanting a small video device in the base of his skull and transmitting the footage over the internet to prove some pedestrian point about time or perception or some nonsense to his class of doe-eyed undergrads. While his motives seem a little suspect, I am seeing the opening of a brand new future for scientific self-enhancement. Say goodbye to tattoos, piercings, branding, and hello to the future of adolescent self-expression: personal experience broadcasting. I can’t honestly think of many things more self-indulgent or screaming for attention, perfect for the upcoming generation of the pampered and entitled. I think I may open my own internet enhancement shop right here in Seattle. Imagine the hipsters going wild over this one. But I digress. I’m more excited for the prospect of cybernetic superhumans than anything else. Youthful misconceptions of self-expression are just hiccups on the road to adulthood. But cybernetic supermen, they are the future.

Arnold, you were a visionary.