Iran Declares Religious War on the Mullet

In an effort to purify their culture from the evil influences of the West, the Iranian Islamic regime has decided to demonstrate its solidarity against the tyrannies of Western hairstyles. Personally, I am mildly concerned the all-knowing and benevolent Allah has decreed my fairly conservative and mild-mannered hairstyle to be affront to his image. I will probably go to the barber tomorrow. But how to fit it in between my sixteen daily prayers sessions and online bomb-making course?