Stem cell research spawns new wave of Penis Snatching

***PSA: Recent reports on the usefulness of adult male testicles in stem cell research have hit the wire and with it will likely come a new wave of penis snatching. Men everywhere are at risk and should guard their crotches from this new development that not only involves their penises, but also threatens their testicles, and with them the bedrock of their manhood.

As this research proceeds men are encouraged to donate their corpses to this noble cause, and should in the meantime feel proud of the additional purpose and power that is contained within their loins. Males are also encouraged to keep an eye out for penis snatchers when traveling in shady neighborhoods, dark alleys, and Mexico, as a new black market for the family jewels will most certainly emerge.

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