Breaking News: House passes bailout – yearns for BBQ sauce

Today the US House of Representatives passed the largest socialization in the history of the United States. Dripping with greasy pork fat, this giant swine is unlike any that’s gone before it. We are in the midst of pivotal history, friends, and not in a good way.

As we continue to sell our future to pay for our present, mainstream media pundits have labeled the giant slab of bacon that accompanied a $700 billion price tag as “sweetener“. There is nothing sweet about removing incentives to succeed in the free market. Either it will take decades to reverse such a precedent, or historians will note this among the death rattles of our free society.

The market quickly erased daily gains following the news of course, but volatility will remain. You think the Iraq War has far reaching implications, it’s got nothin’ on this.