INVESTORS: Profits too slim, need to gain weight

Today, another financial giant and Britain’s largest mortgage lender HBOS was aquired by Lloyds TSB, confirming the global reach of the the current financial crisis. With slim profits and negative returns the consensus between investors is “don’t buy now“.

“I’d say most of these guys [wall street giants] need to gain thirty to eighty billion, they’re just so under weight right now.” said one investor, “They’re unattractive, to say the least.”

At the heart of the issue is one central theme: big is beautiful when it comes to business. World governments are scrambling to fatten ’em up and increase investor confidence.

But for most it will take a lot more than a socialist-style, government bailout to make these emaciated beauty queens attractive again.