Experts: Oil too fat, needs to lose weight

Obesity as a health problem has already swept through the American population, wrecking havoc and destroying good looks. Now, says one analyst, it may be making its debut into the energy world.

“The crude market is morbidly obese,” said Tom Kloza, chief oil analyst at Oil Price Information Service, who warned that the fatness is set to continue.

Experts say crude oil’s massive weight problem could soon threaten neighbors, like gasoline.

“When that baby goes, she’s gonna spill all over the Gasolines’,” said one market observer, “We’re talkin’ Staypuft-marshmallow-man-in-Ghostbusters-style goop, here.”

Energy prices have repeatedly set new records over the past six months.